Therapy for anxiety

Why it does not go away

This is the part that almost never gets told. What keeps anxiety going is usually not the fear itself: it is what you do in order not to feel it.

Avoiding the situation works beautifully for ten minutes and makes it worse for ten years. Every time you avoid, you confirm that the place was dangerous, and the territory you move in gets a little smaller. The same goes for checking, for googling symptoms, for asking someone to reassure you, or for the extra drink: they relieve now and feed later.

That is why I ask you less about where your anxiety came from than about what you have already tried in order to get rid of it. That is usually where the engine is, and that is where it is possible to intervene quickly.

How I work with it

First we draw the map. I use a whiteboard and diagrams because what you can see, you understand better: when it appears, what triggers it, what you do immediately afterwards and what that achieves in the short and the long run. Most people see the full loop for the first time in the first or second session.

Then we change the manoeuvre, not the feeling. We are not going to try to make you stop feeling fear by decree: we are going to change what you do with it, in concrete, measurable steps that you test in your week and we review in the next session. From acceptance and commitment therapy I take something I find decisive: learning to carry the uncomfortable thought without letting it run your day.

And we look at the context. Anxiety rarely happens in a vacuum: it shows up in a particular job, a particular relationship, a particular moment in life. Treating the symptom without looking at where it happens is like switching off the warning light.

How long it usually takes

Anxiety is among the conditions that respond best to brief therapy. Most of the processes I take on close in around five sessions spread over several months, although something that has been in place for years, or with complications, may need more. You will know early: within the first two sessions you will have a clear idea of what we are doing and how long it may take.

If you are also on medication, that is no obstacle: I am a psychologist, so I neither prescribe nor withdraw medication, but I work in coordination with whoever treats you. You can see the other common questions in the FAQ.